This is just for laughs. I can't sleep. Bear with me.

1) He/She takes way too long to reply your texts.
Excuses: I am busy. I have school/training. I can't text now. My battery's dying. I left my phone at home.
You being paranoid: Two-timing. Lame excuses. Am I too boring/overprotective/control freak?
Real reason: He/She's trying to compose their texts so as to seem it's an essay of love for their beloved.

2) No time for you.
Excuses: Man, I am too packed with school! My schedules jammed with my part-time job, projects etc.
You being paranoid: Is he having an affair with his project-mate? Is she spending her time more with her girlfriends?
Real reason: He/She tried slotting in time for you, but shit happens, it always clashes with something so it ends up with the both of you not trying your hardest to work things out.

3) Virtual partner.
Excuses: I sound different in real person. I am so ugly! I am shy.
You being paranoid: Is he/she for real? A robot, maybe? Some fraud trying to toy with my feelings!
Real reason: The excuses above may be partially true. Sometimes, you sound different when you're Skype-ing or Facebook-ing with your exaggerated exclamation marks and 'HEHEHE'. Man, that's really cheap. 'I AM UGLY!' - TRUE. OH SO TRUE. Your photo-shopped skills are amazing.






Okay. That's about it. More to come.

Yours till the stomach stops churning,
CYCLOMENG