Magnanimity is for wusses

Sometimes. Just sometimes.

2011-12-17T14:06:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why we never cease to exist in
someone's life. What makes you so important to
them or vice versa. Like why do we need to appear
to be there for them when they don't really need
us? Or like why, when things start to become dim they
start to look for the light, crawling and being
apologetic when you know it's supposed to be over?

We often kept brooding over the
fact that things change, people change. You grow
older, mature and eventually, your circle of friends
change too. Being a cancerian is tough too, considering
that we like the past so much that we keep on hoping
things will stay that way.

Hah. It's like a furniture being covered with a layer
of varnish.

That's all.

My First Anime.

2011-11-01T17:14:00.004+08:00

My first ever anime was introduced by my brother.
Thanks to AXN and it's generosity before Animax
was born into this world.

Remember this? Slam Dunk. Yes, a sports anime.
I love how the authors/animators make the characters
so retarded (hilarious story line). Dying to impress
his leader's sister who doesn't even look alike!

Then I got hooked with AXN because of this. Time
after time, I got involved into anime drawing which
I dumped because of my in-capabilities. I always
envy my classmate's sketches. She helped me a lot
in developing my interest more in animes.

Here's the other animes I managed to get hold of:
(back in secondary school)

Ayashi No Ceres

Ah! My Goddess

GateKeepers

Legend of the Condor Heroes

Prince of Tennis

Cardcaptor Sakura
Ranma 1/2
Detective Conan

Fine. Call me an Otaku (or a geek) if you want.
I believe everyone is a geek, in one way or another.

So, what is/are your first anime?
(Drop me a DM @alienempire)

Last minute drive-in to Malaysia.

2011-10-31T19:24:00.000+08:00

Sundays. Oh god. I miss having Sundays as off-days in which I am able to chillax with my family.

When I say crepe, it's really creepily crepe big. It's nice & cheap.
Hakim, you're going to love this.

Yes, it's everywhere ever since it's shown on Star King.

This is the giant crepe. ARE YOU DROOLING YET?

EFF U. Five stars for that shop name.

I find this really pretty. Pretty random, that is.

SUGAR CANES.

Food fest at Aunt's house.

I am still alive. It's just that nothing's interesting in my life anymore.

3 reasons why you should break up with your partner.

2011-10-11T04:43:00.002+08:00

This is just for laughs. I can't sleep. Bear with me.

1) He/She takes way too long to reply your texts.
Excuses: I am busy. I have school/training. I can't text now. My battery's dying. I left my phone at home.
You being paranoid: Two-timing. Lame excuses. Am I too boring/overprotective/control freak?
Real reason: He/She's trying to compose their texts so as to seem it's an essay of love for their beloved.

2) No time for you.
Excuses: Man, I am too packed with school! My schedules jammed with my part-time job, projects etc.
You being paranoid: Is he having an affair with his project-mate? Is she spending her time more with her girlfriends?
Real reason: He/She tried slotting in time for you, but shit happens, it always clashes with something so it ends up with the both of you not trying your hardest to work things out.

3) Virtual partner.
Excuses: I sound different in real person. I am so ugly! I am shy.
You being paranoid: Is he/she for real? A robot, maybe? Some fraud trying to toy with my feelings!
Real reason: The excuses above may be partially true. Sometimes, you sound different when you're Skype-ing or Facebook-ing with your exaggerated exclamation marks and 'HEHEHE'. Man, that's really cheap. 'I AM UGLY!' - TRUE. OH SO TRUE. Your photo-shopped skills are amazing.

Okay. That's about it. More to come.

Yours till the stomach stops churning,
CYCLOMENG

I may have issues with my stomach or my bladder.

2011-10-11T04:29:00.000+08:00

This year, I have suffered more than any other years when it comes to bladder/stomach pain. I am not trying to bury the fact that I may be a bit 'down syndrome' when it comes to this. I bet everyone experiences it yearly as well, but mine got really worse. WELL, it's not like I am planning to have someone to inherit or anything, just hoping it won't affect me much in the future. (Tak boleh cakap habis, belum gatal lagi kan?)

Anyway, things didn't go as planned when I handed my resignation letter to my boss. I recall role-playing with my colleague on 'HOW TO TENDER', complete with my gestures and expressions that I've learnt in the Drama Club. (I'm drama mama to even begin with!)

Ah. I have so much on my mind but I can't express it via words. Sorry for this dreary entry.

Lu paham or no understand?

2011-09-21T22:42:00.000+08:00

I am forever dreading to go to work, but I have never felt so forced
in my life doing things I am not even good at ; not even close.

I regret choosing what I do right now, finding ways to get my
ass out of this shit-hole I have buried myself into. Pretty vexing.
I kinda hate the current situation, after all the facts I have
learnt from my colleagues. I do pity her but if I keep on
pitying others, WHO THE F*** PITIES ME?

One of us gave her resignation letter today but it
seems like she was told to think about it again.
Ah, employers please bear this in mind.

1) Find out reasons why your employees decide to
resign. The fact that they tender which means they
really made up their mind right?

2) So, WHY THE F*** do you still want us to
think about it over and over again when nothing's
gonna shake us (waiting for miracle to happen) ?

3) You suck. That explains everything.

TOOFOO FARKFARK.

2011-09-11T12:09:00.000+08:00

I need to get this huge load off my chest.

People keep on asking "How's your new job?"

My standard answer, "Yeah, okay. Surviving." when I am totally not. I don't want people
to ask me so much that I came to a point of 'nothing to conclude cos I ain't got anything
else to say'. Honest opinion: My task is pretty simple. As an illustrator, WOW such a
good job description yadda-yadda but then again, it doesn't let me open up my
creative side by drawing picture compositions.

If you KNOW me very well, I can't draw humans for nuts. Okay, so what if I know how
to draw mangas (beginner's stage) it's not like as if I am superb at it! I am more of
the marketing collateral side and I should take up web-designing in the future.

Ah. I should just get back to studying for a degree be it NIE or someplace alienated.
Actually the best thing that I can do is to take a 1 month's break - ROTTING.

What I don't like about this task of mine is I am supposed to learn how to sell the
product itself. It's not like I am excellent at public speaking, I am a shy person YOU
KNOW. I am trying, I think though no effort could be seen since I lack of motivation.

I am demoralized at how this co. is still in the process of SETTING UP which I didn't
expect to be such a total turn-off, it's worse than BR. Look, I'm still trying to find the right
job for me.

It'll take a while.

That's what a lot of people say.

Endurance test.

You got to do, what you gotta do.

2011-09-06T08:16:00.000+08:00

This is my first time blogging with my macbook. Sorry for the delayed welcoming
party cycloMac! Yes my friends, another new family member is born.

cycloMix (Lumix)
cycloGen (Genius tablet)
cycKon (Nikon)
cycGa (Holgas)

I apologize for the lack of creativity?

Oh, my stamina dropped tremendously. My strength is still there, though sometimes

I feel people took advantage of my 'heavy-weight champion' title to do tasks.

Maybe, I am abnormal for a female. Just, maybe. (denial.com)

Yes, as you can see I am trying (YES TRYING) very hard to plan my schedule.

At most it I have to run this whole illustrating job that I don't very much like

nor hate for about a few months and hopefully by the end of the year get like

a bonus or an increment. The part of the plan is to manage my time well for

both work and playtime - eliminate the stress that I ALWAYS encounter.

I really hoped my colleagues do their job properly because I am only in-charge

of [job title] and that's that. IF I am paid more to do the extra amount of work,

then yes drill me as much as you can but I'm not, so shut your gob and get

your ass back in line. [I have learnt so much that I don't want mistakes to

to repeat freewheel-y] I don't get it. Just because I am nice and tolerable

doesn't mean I don't explode when the right time comes.

Okay, before the RIGHT time comes I shall just consult my boss and discuss my

unhappiness. #justsaying

I need to lose weight, fit into my old junks and retrieve my stamina back. I should

just sign up for gym classes or EV__LE for __A lessons or the best part, go back

to school on mondays for N_D. (Cos I will receive motivation from there!)

My to-do list is never-ending I tell you.

I have to read music notes and practice on my violin again. I've already gave up

on driving so that makes me a loser (yes, all that money spent, I will have one

when I've settled down with all the salary spending money like a tai-tai).

Dengan cara yang halal, okay.

And I don't understand how do people use their laptop while lying on the bed?

Especially females come on, my boobs felt like they've been deflated.

Ow-ow chika bow-wow.

2011-08-30T01:36:00.000+08:00

To everybody from Br this is POR you.

We scoop, shed tears, had fun while working,

I pulak leave halfway cos I jadi pening,

ChocoBlast, Pistachio Almond & all the topping,

I tak boleh lupa you all serta the bonding.

Last day I so suay I kena cirit birit,

I still had to do all the work that I hate,

Di hari yang mulia ini I would like to dedicate,

Selamat Hari Raya & sorry I got no duit.

To everybody from else whom I know and I love, this is POR you.

Aku padahal mixed Sri Lankan and Pinoy,

I selalu get mixed up with being a boy,

This time round tak dapat main bunga api,

Maklumlah tahun ni, memang ku selalu busy.

If no kereta, naik bas, ez-link jangan lupa tap,

If no seats, stand up, or duduk je atas papan,

Yang far away kita ingat atau kita whatsapp,

Yang near kita jumpa, eat & bermaafan.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin.

No pun intended.

Time for another good story.

2011-08-28T07:02:00.000+08:00

I respect everyone's decision, though rather apparent that who's going to get the title.

I am just disgruntled over the fact that those mere 0.34% meant such a big difference.
We could have seen various changes, well the younger generations would. So what
have we learnt back in Social studies? Something along the line of younger-generations
-becoming-the-pillar-strength-of-our-country? Pretty amazed at the number of
oppositions (minus the rejected votes, I can't believe you guys couldn't follow
BASIC instructions?) I swear, in the next 5 years, there's going to be a lot
going on with such unhappiness. Then again, I wish our peace and security
wouldn't be at stake with a lot of haters going on around.

Though I am actually on the receiving side of 'Girls Go NS' hehe.
[I mean you gotta know what your friends, boyfriends and your daddies went through!]

Females complain way too much. I admit that.

But, I just didn't think having the same bloodline to rule is a brilliant idea.

Stay tuned, citizens. May the force be with us.

Here's the deal-le-oh!

2011-08-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

I feel lonely at work still actually. I mean there's hardly any interaction between me
and my colleagues! Although we do talk once in awhile, I still sense the awkwardness when
I talk to some of them. I can already click with one though ^_^

Anyway, transferring to Bugis soon since my department is not needed in Jurong. I am so
NEAR town I can go loner shopping and food fest once in a while! Yay me. Provided I
get good scheduling. The hours sucked. Especially if it's night shift. Who the fuck would wanna
walk through bugis street at night when it's infested with giant cockroaches?

Certainly not me.

Wow, august is going to burn pretty soon, I really cannot wait for my payday and september.
I can't wait for _________ trip as well as my loner outing to One Championship! I hope
I don't bump into gross people there? Especially over-sized muscular lads who think
they own the stadium. Let me have my peaceful evening.

So, people keep asking me "How come you never got into a relationship? Are you GAY?"
Indeed, I am. The best answer to give: I feel the need to be a bodyguard for both the
ladies in my family. Letsay you're my sister - Your security/welfare is my problem.
This only apply to females. Let me clear this confusion again, I am neither homosexual,
bisexual nor heterosexual. I live on my own, for my own, for god. I just don't feel the
vitality of having a BOYPREND.

I don't want to live being ruled by others, being controlled by my spouse. As you can see
men are egoistic, I repeat, MEN. I don't need an offspring. I needed a pet cat, a really
awesome companion - friend, a guy friend with no romantic feelings to be with me
through thick and thin.

Maybe I have been watching too much malay dramas that involves crude husbands,
control-freaks who thinks their wives are their iphones - being overly possessive.

Shucks, I need to get a contract marriage in order to GET A HOUSE.

By 26 years old. We shall see how.

On a lighter note, I can't find anyone suitable for me. I am lacking in the looks department,
so I pretty much understand why ;) No biggies! That's a sidestory.

Yours till the love pollutes the air,

Cyclomeng

Seriously, what the heck happened to this place?

2011-08-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

Shit happens.

I don't know what has this place become, it's _(fill in the blanks)_.

Oh, on a lighter note I still feel awkward working here.

Life's short, Paddle Hard.

2011-08-17T07:08:00.000+08:00

As quoted from SP dragon-boaters.

August, a fulfilling month for the Muslims. This month or should I rather say, half, has
been a tough ride for me. So I get to make memories for a wholesome 3-months, a
not-quite-hip-but-still-memorable enough for me. My boys are in army (psyched for
the others too, INCOMING!), met new people, overseas trip, family bonding (until
things went haywire LOL).

Okay, enough of my sentimental side. This is just a gist of it.

Let's talk more about what have I been tweeting! (a.k.a MY CURRENT AFFAIRS)

CAN YOU IMAGINE?

It's hilarious to the max, I tell you. You have to be there to witness it.

(OH, NO PUN INTENDED BTW)

Anyway, there's this ayam penyet stall somewhere in the west (ask me personally)

that caters really expensive food. The taste is 50/50 and the serving's mad small.

Cost me about $8.20 for just this:

& I am not even exaggerating! It's really this little on a Styrofoam plate!

Do you know I can get this at >$1 in Indonesia?! God, I love Indonesian food.

I really cannot wait to go there back someday.

So right. I need to get a new laptop like soon, probably during my payday a.k.a COMEX.

I can't wait for PC SHOW, shall shop with my pops!

That's it for now.

Major craving for Banana Royale, need it up and atom.

Yours till the sketches done,

Toilets.

2011-08-07T13:27:00.001+08:00

Speaking about loos, my bladder's getting really lousy nowadays. I have an upsetting

stomach today (been eons since I had a proper one).

5 things to do in while you're having your 'business':

1) Sleep. This is probably the best remedy. It's kinda funny knowing you're
in lock mode on top, but working mode at the bottom. Just make sure you grab
a good sleeping spot/position because toilets are being used often but that doesn't
necessarily means it's ergonomically enough - based on my comfort.

2) Read. Oh, this is like one of the 100 things you'd normally do! Be it magazines,
newspapers, personal diary.. just name it. Reading goes a LONG way, I tell you.
I seriously don't know how you focus!

3) Sketch. Been there, done that sir. The best part about being me is I am random
enough to do random stuffs and takes pride in it. Toilets are best when it's quiet, no
matter what business you're dealing with. You can meditate as well as gather inspiration
after observing the world. Designers can be really fun to be with, not all I believe, but
there's still a hint of their loner self once in a while.

4) Facebook/Twitter. There isn't a need for me to explain this, right? Duh.

5) Vandalize. Which era you're in now, sistah? Vandalizing is so last year, unless you
can achieve a graffiti or an abstract art. Then again, don't risk it.
You'll commit a serious offence.

That's all for today. I'll be making my way to work soon and be prepared

for more nasty updates.

Yours till the thunder drums,

I swear to god my laptop is being a bitch.

2011-08-04T02:03:00.002+08:00

Hi, okay so I've known you for 3 years now so why must you give me such a hard
time hurting my ALREADY DAMAGED eyes with the on/off back light?! Yes I have
to thank god that you didn't flash me a blue screen like what you did for my FYP
on my FINAL DAY OF PRESENTATION making me get a SICK GRADE
but whatever I am not blaming it wholly on you. Thanks for enduring all my punches
and curses and probably my saliva as well.

A few more days to my hibernation mode a.k.a spend more time at home and help
around OR in other words, senior housekeeper mode ON. My aim for this year's
Ramadhan is to become holy-er than holy [ehem!] and I shall try my very best to
keep up the good intentions.

Sometimes I just can't help spouting things out :x

Looking forward to favorable replies from companies. I need to get an World Ticket too.

Urgh.

Just let me get my priorities right first.

Yours till the ice cream melts,

KNN I just turned 21, so what's with that noise?

2011-07-07T14:06:00.000+08:00

My parents are siao-kias. I don't feel like an adult anymore because I am treated like

a teenager who's having troubles with her job. Pops, I respect you very much, but

don't nag at me EVERYTIME you see me just because you hate this job of mine. I

know you're concerned about my health and money but this is like the umpteenth time

of me repeating 'TEMPORARY'.

Come to think of it, I don't think you EVER like my jobs so far. You hated my first job,

my second job, third job, fourth job, fifth job, sixth job, even my INTERNSHIP job and

this current job of mine. I don't know what you want seriously, I just know you want a

better future for me and I think you're quite selfish to think of it that way.

I learnt a lot even becoming a sai-kang warrior, it is tough being in this industry and a lot

of sacrifices are made when you're a full-timer.

My off-days are not off-days for me you know! I don't get proper rest and I am VERY very

VERY VERY VERY very very VERY tired to the extend of collapsing anytime soon.

So stop nagging at me because my eardrums are tired of your decibels.

All the fun and laughter are slowly fading.

2011-06-29T11:55:00.000+08:00

I must be crazy enough to have mixed feelings right now. A lot had happened
for a month and so after I've been working. I am starting to hate and love this
job at the same time, completely immersed with the fact that I get to do cakes
and decorate sundaes and meet new people.

My first few friends of BR are going to leave me bit by bit and it seems like
everything's repeating back from beejays. Tough luck. I have never worked
with Kartini before but I really hoped she's just like us and may the fun stays.

A new stall will be opening soon somewhere and I will be converting as a
part-timer. I won't work often enough and thus, my memories of the sundaes
will fade. Anyway, I better enjoy the time I have before everyone's start to
leave.

Work starts later, but I am in a -.- mood to even begin with.

No more inside secrets anymore. *sigh*

2011-06-27T02:36:00.002+08:00

I cried just by watching two episodes of the animes.

2011-06-15T21:02:00.000+08:00

I've been told to watch this by Kartini.
She knows I just love Bishies ;)

I miss my rotting lifestyle.

Let's try to relieve oneself.

2011-06-15T20:49:00.000+08:00

In the end, it doesn't even matter.

I don't understand why, still.

2011-06-15T20:45:00.000+08:00

If you're in the wrong, why try so freaking hard to prove it that you're not when
you CLEARLY are? Just what are you trying to show to people? Ever since
that incident (probably PLURAL) everyone's being really cold towards you
because they know what's right and what's wrong.

So, in a nutshell, you're the weakest link. Stop feigning, you being all dramatic
about it is making me sick and obviously I am not the only one who's about
to puke gallons.

Just so you know, we have tried so hard not to hate, but you pushed us at
our limits causing an uproar with your own wrongdoings. Fuck it with your
''I am innocent, so please understand-try to find out more-ask me the truth''
statements because even if we ask, LIKE YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING
ABOUT IT AND TELL US THE TRUTH?

If you think two-timing (okay maybe not JUST two-timing, you're one psycho
who plays ALL the boys in the entire universe, and I just can't stand it how
idiotic for them to fall for your innocence) is fun, well we think otherwise because
we don't belong to the same clan as you. Nuff' said.

We were once friends, back in hingus-hill billy moments. We could have been
friends still if you hadn't pull up this dirty stunts. So girl, I'm just saying in behalf
of our classmates. Great minds think alike, I just don't understand how come
yours went haywire.

Good luck being overseas. I hope the earth's core eat you up.

I feel awful.

2011-06-08T22:28:00.000+08:00

Honestly speaking, the reason why I jumped a lot nowadays is probably because my sixth
sense isn't working, or I may deliberately trying to act like a normal girl who's afraid.
But fuck, some of them already knew about this ninchia thing of mine so they are kind
of amazed at how much I jumped when it's really nothing at all.

Well, I really don't know if it's just me that changed or I am just acting to be normal?
It's not like I want that side of mine to be known by others. It's a secret remember.
I really want to be in the low profile zone, but it's not happening. Shit.

I miss training so, so, so badly.

Like as if life hasn't suck-ed any further.

2011-06-07T15:18:00.000+08:00

It's going to be a month since I last started. I am going for a one week's cake building session
and fuckyeah I feel like a chef-in-the-making. You know, deep down, I really enjoy this work
of mine no matter how tiring it is. Well, just to clear things out, the part I enjoyed most is to
interact with the staffs (my social age group) and to create BEAUTIFUL sundaes. When it
comes to decorating (or creating something) I am really into it, as long as there's no pressure.

I am going to make it happen before my 3 months (so-called internship) is over. In the meantime,
I am going to apply for a full-time job that is related to my dip. I can do this, walk through thick
and thin (not alone) I believe I have people around me who cares no matter how busy they are.

This is a bit delayed but yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERYL. HAPPY BELATED 20TH.
I will still love you no matter how much you love Ameera more than me. HAHAHAHA.
I know you the most patient person when it comes to me, no matter how bitchy I can get.
Seriously, my friends are really god's gift to me. I will treasure all of you no matter what.
Misunderstandings are bound to happen and avoidance is hard.

Good luck with your future endeavors, people!

A lot of shit happened in our 3 years of fuckingpoly life and I will totally miss the days
being really childish. We shall have a reunion after the boys POP or something? (HAHA)
Forget about the old stories. Let's create a new one :)

I MISS PLAYING L4D WITH MY BOYS!

I MISS CALLING PEOPLE BY THEIR NICKNAMES!

I MISS MY FRIENDS.

There, I've said it.

.

1st day of training.

2011-05-18T23:13:00.000+08:00

*drools* His brother is hot too. HAHAHA.

Yeah, my doodling mojo is back somehow.
Sorry, this is amateur doodlings right? Maybe it'll cause sore eyes?
Thanks to the 4 hours lecture of ice creams.
My partner was sleeping beside me! LOL

Unearthly hour.

2011-05-16T02:45:00.001+08:00

I have been sleeping since 8pm, so right now I'm wide awake accompanied with gastric,

when I thought I'm about to get my bloody buddy tonight. The cocoa and the crackers

doesn't seem to be the remedy this time, gosh you know how it aches like it's churning blood?

Now you know how onions and chillis feel when they're in the blender!

Last week's been really good, non-stop action of catching-up sessions. I've been out everyday

since Sunday. What does it feels like? Exhausted.

Sunday: Birthday celebration + catching-up sessions with Ninchias.

Monday: Capoeira.

Tuesday: Interview + date with Lady Boss.

Wednesday: Catching-up session with girlfriends.

Thursday: Robe collection + catching-up session with MNCs.

Friday: Gay date with Andy.

Saturday: Mother's Day Celebration + Birthday Celebration (s).

The days where I've gotten fatter than fat, sicker than sick.

Thanks guys for making my week occupied and well, at least get me to move my body around.

Oh, have you ever tried limping your way through all around? Do you know how much

calories you can burn? Ever thought how tiring is it to keep up with someone else's pace?

It's fun. You should try it sometime. Just remember to avoid hilly areas and staircases.

Don't worry! You'll be fine.

Har-har. You wish.

On top of that..

2011-05-08T01:07:00.000+08:00

I am done watching Moshidora. It's really a nice sports anime. No romance at all and
I cried watching because it's about baseball. (The fact that I enjoy baseball & softball more
than soccer). Reminded me of the good old times back in Sports & Wellness Softball 08.
We didn't get the champion but we hailed the 2nd and the 3rd positions!
Good job guys! ;) I was injured, so I couldn't play but I'm glad that I came down to
support you guys for the match!

+ points, there are a few bishies in there too, the Pitcher and the Captain of the Baseball team.

Time for a good rest, guys! I need to wake super early tomorrow!

BE SURE TO WATCH MOSHIDORA!

RATING: 9/10 (if it gets boring in the earlier episodes, my bad. The matches are fun to watch!)

World's First Love

2011-05-08T00:59:00.001+08:00

GAY LOVE* IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER.

That's what I think It used to be pretty hell disgusting to me, but come to think of it,
if it involves bishies, THEN WHY WORRY?

*Take note that gay love = male+male. I really hate to see female+female.
& it only applies to animations and not in real life unless they are bishies.

Quick update.

2011-05-01T09:30:00.000+08:00

Deadman Wonderland.

Correction: This is the one that reminded me of Gatekeepers. (not Steins; Gate)
It's not aliens this time round, just weird RED MAN or Wretched Egg as the Promoter calls it.
Falls under the category of Action, Horror, Science Fiction and Shounen. A bit of gore,
but yeah it's pretty much harmless.

(I am so proud of myself, finally watching something out of my usual comfort zone)

Yours till the henna dries,

2011-04-30T09:23:00.000+08:00

La Corda d oro / Kin'iro No Chord : Primo Passo

Music/Romance/Comedy/Bishounen (PLUS POINTS).
I like the pianist and violinist in this story. Just because they're bishies.

That's enough updates for yall!

Time to catch my Moshidora ;)

Yours till the rain stops,

As you can see.. What keeps me going during the holidays.

2011-04-30T09:03:00.003+08:00

Anime(s) that I anticipate every week for their updates:

Hana-Saku Iroha

Initially I thought it'll be some boring shoujo, in the end it turn out to be something
really interesting. There's about determination, friendship and humor in it. The
characters are all so cute, I like the colors and the drawings here too.

Steins; Gate

Science-fiction for the win! Reminds me of gatekeepers with all the mystery going on.
There's humor in this as well and be prepared for some annoying vibrating phone during the episodes.
I like the OP.

Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai

That's a lot to take for a title. A anime regarding friendships and light romance, maybe something like
a love-triangle. Some humor in it and I would recommend you to watch it too. The mother of Kintan is
seriously pretty.

Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi

Shounen Ai alert. Come to think of it, I would rather watch a gay anime than a lesbian one because there are bishies!
A splitting image of Junjou Romantica (same author if I'm not mistaken) so there's bound to have
similar-looking characters. Interesting story, I liked the fact about it being an editor in a manga industry and always
got bullied by Takano.

Hidan no Aria

Reminds me of Angel Beats mash-up with Zero no Tsukaima and Kore Wa Zombie Desuka. Maybe
it's because I sensed some similarities in the characters, the way they're drawn and the gaze (yes, the gaze).
A bit of ecchi, but apart from that it's action-packed so do catch it!

Moshidora

My first non-related to romance, sports anime. Maybe there is, towards the ending, but there's only
5 episodes for now (ongoing) and it has been updated for 5 consecutive days already! Efficient?
I kinda like this anime too somehow.

All of the above are ongoing anime(s) so please if you have time, try googling it to find out more! Good luck! ;)

Yours till spring animes end,

Okay, enough with the hating(s).

2011-04-29T07:44:00.000+08:00

I need to revamp this piece of junk, or what you call it - blog. After much resentment, my senses have finally came back hence, self-motivation and (excessive) drilling is in action! Please do take note that this may only
be temporary, but fret not if there's a will, there's a way in me turning back 360 degrees and be optimistic.

So, PRETTY PLEASE don't leave my blog especially if you're still into that hobby of blog-hopping.

I am trying to revive my blog bit by bit, coming up with interesting posts and maybe a product review would be good too. It's not like as if I am an underground product designer that has came up with something and about to promote it online (if only I'm as good as them). I started my old hobby of reading, and I will upgrade myself.

It's okay if no one wants to hire me yet, I know it takes a few months for them to finally realized that I AM IN NEED OF A JOB AND OF COURSE I NEED TO CONTINUE MANAGING MY SAVINGS in case of shotguns (not that I want to, but more to travelling and if I want to get a house on my own) which is = working
my ass out.

So my parents have countlessly bugging me with what my future going to be with be being half-assed at everything. Well, not particularly everything. Know what? I was greatly affected back then, but I am so immuned now I shall secretly (not too secret anymore?) meditate to get a clear understanding of myself.

My mind well, like how I should describe it : Worse than your hyperactive waves, thunderstorms, ruffles and a computer without security essentials.

That's about it. For now.

Yours sincerely,

HEAVE HO!

2011-04-20T23:04:00.002+08:00

HI I MISS MY SMILING FACE.

(retarded)

Holidays.

2011-04-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

Nothing's been that good so far. I just want to travel and well of course, work.
I need the moolahs.

I have been staying at home and well, the updates are not that good.
It's getting dreary on my side.

I shall try to sleep early tonight.

TRY.

2011-04-20T11:31:00.000+08:00

Hi @inurlee twitter ain't being nice to me ):
It states no results.

Add me instead ;)

@alienempire

Readers, that goes to you too ;)

Hi my homies.

2011-04-13T01:30:00.001+08:00

IF YOU STILL THINK THIS PAGE EXISTS:

Just wondering if you want to add me up in my new twitter account. I deleted my account, and
I only want selected people to read my posts. A lot of you guys judge by reading tweets, hence I
want to avoid such incidents from happening because you don't clearly have any idea who I really
am. So quit acting like a miss/mister know it all, alright?

You may drop me a question on formspring and I'll answer you via a post (:

This month has been really rocky. Well, yeah the aftermath of graduation is not so fantastic after all.
I would want to avoid people as much as I can because I hate myself so much now. I hate what
I have become.

Some of you may be very concerned about how I behaved recently, but you know what? The best thing
to do is to leave me alone and let me settle my things by myself. Twitter is just a place I had to rant
so pardon me for all the crude remarks.

Friends, sorry if I hurt you. I just need my space. A terribly LONG hiatus from all of you.

2011-02-27T21:32:00.000+08:00

I think I don't deserve to have friends.

I regret making too many of them and unable to keep up. I love my introvert side. I want it to be this way
as long it can. I am getting all angsty just because of having too many things to think about EVEN AFTER
my graduation. Seriously. When will this ever stop?

I am sleeping at 10.45pm.

Those who misses me, I am very sorry I don't feel the same way. I am your mean bitch, I prefer to be alone.
Don't ask me what happened, because I won't tell you a single thing. Not even a hint.

Maybe it's just me.

2011-02-22T00:13:00.001+08:00

I AM AN OTAKU.

I LOVE BEING ONE.

MY INTROVERT SELF IS BEGINNING TO

MAKE ITS WAY TO THE TOP.

I FEEL FRESHER AND SOMEHOW MY

COMPLEXION GOT BETTER?

I think.

2011-02-19T12:18:00.000+08:00

I can feel myself going anti-social mode.

I am not sure if this is something to be proud of, but I am tired of school and obviously, I had that much interactions not with friends, but with colleagues. I miss hanging out with my friends though.

I am sorry Josh that you jio-ed me but in the end I said no. I don't know what I want actually.

I need some quality time alone.

Plenty of it, even. Thank you guys.

2011-02-10T09:44:00.002+08:00

Shall blog proper, later :)

I can't stop blowing my nose.

2011-02-07T09:51:00.000+08:00

Welcome to week 11 of Internship. The second last week of doom and apparently, I am down with a fever. (maybe not yet but the symptoms are here) I am energy-deprived, my throat hurts a million and my nose is sprinting like never before.

My crucial month starts now, with rising applications, reports, assignments and prototypes (PLURAL, LOOK CAREFULLY) to submit. I need to find time for all this, desperately. Tonight, I am going to drop by training, just a HELLO and off I go home to either rest (I hope I could) or continue with work. Every second counts.

I can do this. I believe in myself. Just that... I don't have the strength to pull this through.

:)

2011-02-05T10:59:00.000+08:00

News Report: This week has been really good for me so far.

My CNY days.

2011-02-04T11:15:00.000+08:00

My first successful kite-flying! I LIKE I LIKE I LIKE! I want to go kite-flying again!

This morning, breakfast at Pioneer Mall with Khai and his Hazlan! I went to the loo and found this horrible brownies.

Overall, jogging was pretty awesome today the sky wasn't that sunny and it wasn't raining either. I liked today. Ran about 7 rounds around the track, did my leapfrog and practice on my splits. I want to jog tomorrow again! See if I can wake up! I want to go alone this time! :D

I am supposed to be doing work now but I am in partying mode. I better get some things done before my parents come back from their 'honeymoon'. Kinda enjoyed their absence. I became a reliable sister, well somewhat, I panaskan lauk, did housework, bought breakfast automatically and eventhough I complain how much I hated my siblings because they're so lazy, in the end, I showered them with my love. Wishing you had a sister like me? HAHAHAHAHA fat hope. I am not that nice :D

For now, I have to edit my 3D modelling and do housework! Going out for gay time with Andy later so chao my friends!

Usui, you're back and kimi ni todoke (:

2011-02-03T18:34:00.000+08:00

USUI WHY CAN'T YOU REALLY EXIST IN MY LIFE OMG I COULD JUST KILL YOU, YOU PERVERTED OUTER SPACE ALIEN! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO WONDERFUL YET SO ANNOYING AT THE SAME TIME?! (but you finally asked her properly so I am very very happy)

When one is depressed what do they do?

2011-02-02T09:48:00.000+08:00

EAT!

So in the end, my Tuesday wasn't so bad after all. I was very productive and I managed to keep track of what I am supposed to do. I had an impromptu food fest with PIC and I got an awesome chillin' bike ride home! What's more to ask for? :) Thank you, God.

Random updates.

2011-01-31T11:46:00.000+08:00

My sandwich is a ninja too.

Chocolate Waffle = heavenly.

This is the one I'm talking about on twitter. Black.... Malay.
Auntie's being a racist. HAHAHA just kidding. I was wearing black on that day.

Well then, I should start preparing some of the stuffs by tonight and send it to Jasmine~ So I can get my referral letter! I must tell her for which course this is! Need to start printing and scanning.

Checklist :
1) REDO MY MOCK UP BY TUESDAY. GOODBYE I AM CHIONGING.

One last outing?

2011-01-25T09:28:00.000+08:00

Morning people! This week is another trashing week where I need to get a lot of things settled. How I wished my body would stop giving me problems, my appetite's booming like crazy, my complexion has its ups and downs. Sometimes, it's good, sometimes it's not.

Things to kill by this week:
- Putty and sand the mock-up.
- Edit the 3D modelling, rendered in different views.
- Settle my university application. (part A CV for referral letter)
- Last few sketches.

You know. I have been waiting for graduation so badly but as much as I wanted it to end fast, I just possible can't because I am already missing the class atmosphere. Who says 2/3 years is enough to make friends? Friends is one thing. What about the joy we had as a whole not caring about what other people got to say?
Even though our class seems to be the outcasted one (I pretty much like it as it is).

I hope we stay in contact no matter what friends we meet in the future. God bless you all <3

People. You need this :)

2011-01-18T10:37:00.001+08:00

I've blog-hopped! Paging my girls - Ameera, Sheryl and Estelle. I read what I needed to see, then again it's not enough unless we sit down together and have a chat. Everyone has been so busy lately, we have our own circle of friends, so what happen to our clique? Then again, we don't have to be all-time together to prove our friendship, am I right? I know you guys are doing well somehow, dying but pretty much surviving at the same time because of Final Year Project and Internship. Gotten closer to Jasshima again because of FYP :) She's really like a 4 year old, but she's really nice and WEIRD! I miss you too :)

Someday, we just need to kick-ass and have some fun girls. Our heart-to-heart talk please? I think we kind of distanced. I wonder how will it be if we were to go separate ways after this. (we are, actually) But I do hope our friendship stays as long as I wanted it too which is eternity. I don't show it but yes, I do love you girls a lot. My friends, whoever you are, if you feel a sense of closeness to me, those who've I've met and talked a lot, I do have a heart and I love you guys even if I tease you or scold you guys annoying. (That's how I show it).

I miss the good old times. Let's move forward shall we?

2011 will be a blessed one. I will (InsyaAllah) make sure it will be.

Boys, I am not sure if you guys still stalk my blog, but sometimes I can be really mean but I am sorry. It's just for laughs. You guys teased me a lot, though I don't show it, it kinda makes me skip a beat because of the attention given. I have a lot of nicknames being given by you guys, and I keeping it all. Please don't be so emo okay, cherish your poly life and friends. I can recall from the very beginning how we became friends. I love you guys a lot, as a brother, sister, butch, maid, sooyoung, ilyana, kakak, noona, oppa, pic, turkey - whatever just name it :)

Boys & Girls part 2, I will forever and ever and ever cherish this friendship because we've gone through a lot of thick and thin together from having internal conflict to that 6 months of silent treatment. I really enjoyed those days being in school uniform, rocking my short hair, ignoring about what others got to say about me because I am with you guys. I know we are all growing up and we're already in our separate ways, those mini mocking and inside jokes - I want more of them. I want more of you guys. All of us has changed. But you can still see the old us in it.

Shawn: He still shines like a popstar. That brittany pouted lips with pale skin and the master of sarcasm.

Matthias: Still my sissy, my teddybear. The one who gets over-sexcited with stuffs and inside jokes like never before.

Akif: Still glimmering I see! With his diva-attitude that bound to scare girls off, he's still him.

Harith: Beat around the bush boy! You've grown taller, but still crazy as hell.

Ilyana: Forever short hair. Tomboy and still retarded like last time.

Maryam: Afro! You've grown to be more mature, but you're my twin and I really do enjoy being with you.

One thing for sure, we all look better now. HEHE I am going to dig old photos omg. (if any)

Mental note.

2011-01-18T09:48:00.000+08:00

*Grabbed via Disney Princess' blog! Thank you :)

Please vote for them! :)

2011-01-18T09:43:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtube_gdata_player&v=MdQt_Z_O2h8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J17EmxmoSII&feature=player_embedded

They're my friends! Please support them by clicking 'LIKE'!

They're really good!

:)

THANK YOU~

Short notice.

2011-01-17T10:21:00.000+08:00

I know this looks like SHIT. It's Chocolate Eclair Pretzel.

Bloody hell this is Nasi Gerabu (or Krabu/Grabu) DAMN NICE THE RICE IS BLUE THE ULAM IS ORGASMIC SERIOUSLY OMG MALAYSIA PASAR MALAM IS THE BEST.

Cinnamon! :)

Have a great week everyone!

Scary movie.

2011-01-16T07:20:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO TELL YOU GUYS A HUGE SECRET!

I THINK MY LAB IS HAUNTED! (I think all labs are -.-)

There was a time I was all SAD (sigh!) and ALONE (sigh!) in the lab, it was lunch, so everyone is like out. I didn't bother to go because it's sloth day. So I (the smart me), off the lights and took a hella good nap and crap I didn't know the lab is so spooky without the lights on, plus there's sounds everywhere. I thought it's like soundproof because I WON'T KNOW IF IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE, BUT I CAN HEAR OTHER SOUNDS LIKE PEOPLE TALKING.

So why am I blogging at this hour?

I am going to jog later, that's why! :)

Expired!

2011-01-14T12:27:00.000+08:00

My course haunts me wherever I go. Such a sad life.

This is the one I'm talking about! Bollywood scene at MBS for New Year 2011.
I was the only jerk sitting down, not even excited for fireworks :)

2011-01-12T11:16:00.001+08:00

I have a lot of sweet people around me :')

No matter how annoying they can be at times.

I think I know why I can't sleep soundly last night.

2011-01-11T11:40:00.000+08:00

I kept on pondering, why the shat can't I sleep properly last night?

1) I tried to think about any injuries I had from sparring that cause discomfort - no.
2) I tried to think about boys - if I happen to fall for someone again now and he's the cause to my misery - no.
3) In the end, it's about my future I am worrying about. Not about getting married, silly. About studying and working part-time.

): I am perfectly clueless.

1) Designer - continue this journey of mine. (full-time)
2) Club instructor - continue learning, improving myself (part-time)

I have Sir Ig to look up to, both an instructor and designer.

In order to survive in Singapore, I have to further my studies.
So going for the NTU talk on the 22nd.

I need referral letter. Time to buck up now. It's not too late, yet.

My sunday.

2011-01-10T10:44:00.000+08:00

Had a great one :) More food explores please, papa?

Hi, my name is Ilyana and I don't know what I want to do for my future. I am browsing through Uni applications online - yes, I want to cry.

SORRY FOR SPAMMING THIS IS NOTHING SPECIAL!

2011-01-04T09:53:00.000+08:00

I was bored and I needed something to play with. HAHAH Okay time to do work! :)

I am that chubby omg.

2011-01-03T17:01:00.000+08:00

Snickers dark chocolate.

Simply the best. yum.

Quick note.

2011-01-03T13:16:00.002+08:00

Worth waiting.

I <3 you girls.

Product Review - nothing better to do.

2011-01-03T12:57:00.000+08:00

I bought this yesterday, so I am just going to give it a try and see if it works for me. I have combination skin by the way. I will start using it tomorrow! Going to explore make-up basics as much as I can. I am not really a make-up person, it all started from my momeh.

She's the one who introduced to me make-up when I was secondary two, just because I was a really hopeless tomboy back then. I mean, who the hell wear football shorts to Town? Completed with a cap, undone hair and seriously no sense of fashion at all. (until now when I am really lazy, I'll just wear ANYTHING - from bell bottoms, sweat pants, big jumpers, just name it)

Like say today, I was rushing madly to work, I just grabbed my bell-bottoms, hanged-shirt and cardigan. I read somewhere that even though you think there's no sun, you still have to apply moisturizer with whatever SPF. So, the only thing I have on my face now is, the moisturizer by Olay SPF 15+.

Totally bare-faced apart from that ):

Just wanting to know, do guys really prefer ladies with or without make-up? Formspring me.

From most of the boys I've asked - they like girls without make-up. They want to see our natural beauty. In that case, what's the natural beauty you guys hoping for? We want to look good for people. Some told me they don't mind make-ups as long as we don't overdo it. Some others, prefer me without make-up because I look 'sickly fresh' (ironic, but this is true). Some just CAN'T SEE the difference.

Formspring me, people.

Are you egg-cited?

2011-01-03T11:00:00.000+08:00

Okay, from now onwards, Sunday will be family day for me and Fridays will be dancing day with the girls.

I would want to go to Malaysia every weekend for food fest (just bought beauty products yesterday!) and update them on this blog. Time to try Botak's favorites or Malaysia's Seoul Garden. Heard that its worth splurging for! Going to have food fest soon in Singapore (again!) so right now, I am hiring people who wants to go for food fest with me?

List of people who are (definitely) willing to go:

- Twin (maryam)
- PIC (hakim)
- 1/3 (juliana)

I am going to start work right after I think I have nothing to blog about!

2011, you are going to be interesting. I am going to bring my cyclomix out 24/7. I am going to invest on a new one too, but that's going to wait (:

Don't you just LOVE food? :D

2011-01-03T10:49:00.000+08:00

Creamy Linguine is really just the sex. Homemade(s) are purely awesome.

Baskin Robbins! YAY! HEHE Chocolate dipped sundae!
Reminds me just how much I love Ben&Jerry's and the crews.
World Class Chocolate and Strawberry Cheesecake.

Maybe I should start on a food blog instead.

2011!

2011-01-03T10:33:00.000+08:00

Let's welcome 2011 with an unglam photo of me.

All hail 2011, it's a new start perhaps for everybody, no matter how hard I tried to avoid it. Okay, resolutions wise, I wouldn't want to think of much (or any, actually) but I was being forced to. Let's get the jist of it.

1) Grow shoulder-length hair till July 3rd - 21 years old I have to look mature thank you. (act like one too)

2) I will graduate with a diploma in Product Design and Innovation. (InsyaAllah)

3) Find a part-time job, chiong work before my holiday - March

4) Help around at home, spend more time with family than friends.

5) Settle the 2010's resolutions that aku tak dapa capai.

6) Participate (be active) in NJD back.

2010-12-30T16:17:00.001+08:00

My hair texture is like pubic hair now.

sad

2010-12-30T09:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEOPLE! (in advance)

I want to celebrate it at home, by sleeping.

I am SO SICK, DARN SICK OF EVERYTHING, THERE'S NO GETAWAY FOR ME HERE! EVERYTHING IS SO METALLIC, CONCRETE, POLLUTED! THERE'S SO MANY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE! I HATE THE CROWDS. I NEED SERENITY.

2010-12-30T09:34:00.000+08:00

I cannot wait for graduation. I cannot wait to be missing in action in some people's lives. I cannot wait to go on hiatus and just spend time with my closest friends and families, or even, only myself. I messed things up last night, now I am regretting it and how I wished I hadn't destroyed it.

Now I just have to wait till it grows out, wasted my $58 and just let it burn. I must try to wear something girly because of how I look like right now. I look like a total boy because my hair is spiky. First thing - I am going to shed off some kg(s) on my face. I CAN SHED IT OFF MY BODY BUT NOT MY FACE. It's too chubby and it's not niceeeeeeeee. I have so many flaws.

I lost my self-esteem. I can get it back anytime, but I just don't want to do it. Okay now I really feel like going AWOL for everybody.

Makes me feel like cancelling my plans for mass picnic.

One thing I miss about training is the fun even when it's torturous.

2010-12-28T09:22:00.000+08:00

I wasn't lying! I really miss having awesome trainings with NJD people, no matter how much I whine about it being so torturous, it is actually fun :) This club has kept me alive for 2 years and still counting, I hope those that have graduated (or going to be) will come back for training once in awhile. I want that bond again. HEHE I got a green light, probably I might be teaching outside again! I need to be more outspoken when it comes to serious business. I can be informally outspoken, but not formally outspoken. Okay, go figure.

Anyway, I bumped into Jas, Ness and El yesternight at KAP! Hehe, didn't expect them to be there, but we confabulated long enough and it's still not satisfying! Meet up soon guys! :) I love you all to bits, the adventures, the memories we had for the past 2 years of peedeeeye. If I were to meet you guys again as a whole, I think I will start crapping and I know I can always be myself. That's what you guys loved me for, right? For now, it's all about trying to run this marathon to the end! We're graduating soon guys!

Happy because school is a such a bore but sad at the same time because we're going to miss the class spirit. I don't care. We are going to have a chalet. Let's have havoc chalet part 2!

2010-12-27T11:07:00.000+08:00

Okay, I think I am going to book threading tomorrow. Yay pamper myself~

I so want to buy a new camera.
Soon.

I feel so lazy today.

):

Thinking of ways to get myself occupied.

2010-12-23T14:28:00.000+08:00

I am already busy as it is, but I want to do something that's more me. Uh-huh, you got it, be it ransacking old clothes and DIY them into something new (haven't been doing that for quite some time, yo!) or just random doodlings.

Going to start soon.

I hope it'll turn out to be nice ;D

Metamorphosis.

2010-12-23T09:18:00.000+08:00

I am pretty much booked till next year! HAHAHAHA oh god, when will this end? See my facebook list of events = so many appointments. Makes me sound so important [my foot!].

Morning sunshine!

Okay, today seems like a good start for me. Woke up early took my own sweet time to decide and pack my bag, wore my new headband (finally bought it yesternight) and super comfy shoes (sale at $5 - what a steal!). Decided to be in Superman mode so those who knows me pretty well, you'll understand.

Going to embark on my new project soon.

Today is all about multi-tasking and I know I can do this very well.

Let's get the concepts done and over with! Dimensions, orthographic views and of course, 3D modelling
going to start soon. And, as soon as I know, internship is over~ YAY ME! 2 more extra weeks to chiong my folio and my prototype. I am going to settle it - with innumerable complaints.

After that, I can call off the shots - early graduation for me and of course TIME TO PARTY MY ASS OFF.
Not clubbing, more like a getaway trip! YAY~ (Looking at the bright side of life)

TANJONG BALAU~ (I hope my cousins going too then I won't be so lonely)

Thursday training later! TRAIN HARD.

2010-12-22T14:19:00.000+08:00

This is a confession.

I miss having random talks with A during breaks and in the bus.

Honestly speaking, I should've grabbed that opportunity that you were hinting to me, but I was too dumb to even realized that you actually meant it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am bored I guess.

I FEEL LIKE CRUPPP.

2010-12-22T12:54:00.000+08:00

LIFE'S A BITCH, GET OVER IT.

So I woke up every morning feeling reluctant for work. Day by day my energy's depleting. Feeling so weak every nanosecond. My feet is in agony, my shoulders are wailing and my mind's just not in the right aperture.

I am sick and tired of everything, I need a holiday so badly. But HELL YEAH, THERE WEREN'T ANY FOR ME SINCE THIS HAS STARTED IT'S BEEN REALLY REALLY CRAZY AND I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL FREAK SITTING HERE TRYING TO MAKE THINGS LOOK BETTER WHEN IT ISN'T AND ITS NOT GOING TO BE.

This is random, but I think my colleague's having a bitch-fit with her boyfriend on the phone.

It's a sad, sad situation.

My friend decides to ditch me.

2010-12-20T11:13:00.001+08:00

Okay, it's not wholly her fault for ditching me alone at work. She's sick, so I'm okay with it. Told her she needs to call up two people just to inform them of her absence. Pretty much troublesome, don't you think?

Anyway, last week was a well, can be considered as a blast. I had no rest, I was out like everyday for catching up sessions. No work was done! Not even a sketch, yo. Today, I am going to sketch more and more and more and start refining some of them to make it into concepts before wednesday = doomsday.

So, for the 100002983872176376th time, I hate this job.

(Really, I have tried looking on the bright side, which turn out to be dull so it's not helping at all. I have tried the impossibles to make it possible, but heck it doesn't work! Tried all sorts of things to make me feel good about this job but okay, let's not get into details.)

Wait was that, 11.11?

WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH ALL THIS RETARDED TIMINGS?!

I need to take leave on the 6th for Napfa. (I WANT TO TAKE LEAVE HAHAH)

Dasar retarded.

2010-12-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

YAY PEOPLE, WHOEVER'S READING MY BLOG YES PLEASE CONTINUE I WILL TRY TO HAVE AWESOME UPDATES OR QUESTIONS OR WHATEVER, YOU CAN REQUEST IT VIA FORMSPRING!

(It's weird because I want people to read, but I don't want that much publicity. Which is why I don't promote my blog via facebook, msn or twitter, because I may happen to gossip about people here)

BUT ANYWAY THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Quick update.

2010-12-15T16:52:00.000+08:00

More pelanduk dua serupa ;)

Christina.

Rina.

This is how we will look like when we reached 40, still go for botox. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I was bored at work. Sorry.

I need to blog hop often, whoever with a blog formspring me please.

2010-12-15T09:48:00.000+08:00

Shot taken by JQ during njd training.

Let's go around and talk nonsense, shall we? Let me see, today's nothing special. I woke up feeling groggy and as always, reluctant for work. Maybe I am just not thankful enough? Well, I don't know. Doing this similar design process to FYP is killing me. I wonder how designers live. They have the passion, while mine

occurs when I am in the mood. Honestly speaking, if you find me an all-rounder, formspring me.

I am more of 'Jack of all Trades, but a Master of none'. You know how sad that is? I don't even know what's my real interest is! Apart from map-reading and urban explores, that is.

I am going to continue my photography, pursue as a hobby. I am noob. But I will learn. I will start to pick up violin lessons - be it my own or classes. I need to love my job, though it's temporary, in the working world, it's like this baby. Let me check on my to-do list again.

1) Continue photography - go more in-depth, stop my lomography from hips. (or keep it)

2) Urban explores - new parks, abandoned places, whatever exist in Singapore.

3) Update on my map - start looking for the one that I misplaced.

4) Buy a new journal 2011 - I write and I doodle way, WAY too much, I express through writing.

5) Take up violin lessons - youtube or classes.

6) Take up vocal lessons - youtube or classes (consult dad for all music-related stuffs)

7) Picking up proper sketching, build up on portfolio, be a good designer (first)

8) Start to recap the previous belts syllabus - think of endurance, determination, courage and strength.

(Seriously, I need to catch up a lot, in terms of stamina and courage. I just hate sparring I used to love it man!)

9) Probably come back after I graduate to upgrade myself and who knows, I can start teaching the little ones some of the moves!

10) Too many catching up sessions, I can't think of. Prioritize please.

11) I used to have dreams of becoming someone famous, back then - I don't think its important for me now(:

I happy with what I have! I just need to buck up and stop whining, right? Everyone has their flaws.

I HAVE ONE THING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY, SO YESTERDAY I DECIDED TO BOOST MY MORALE BY COMPARING PHOTOS OF MYSELF AND CHOI SOOYOUNG.

(Forgive me if it gave you sore eyes)

See what I mean? Then again, I swear she's like 12876375265 prettier than me.
I am phat ):

I don't care who reads this ;)

2010-12-14T16:58:00.000+08:00

Have you ever fell in love with your own friend? Have you ever thought ending up with someone whom you never glanced twice? Have you ever wished your friendship blossomed into something more deep, something special? Do you feel empty?

Please answer me, via formspring of course ;)

Spread the word.

I will try my best to answer you guys, or probably strike a conversation because some of the questions above, I've gone through a lot that you can ever imagined. (This is coming from a person who haven't had BGR)

One tries to open up, the other just refuse.

2010-12-14T16:50:00.003+08:00

This is random to a whole new level.

I took a 10 minutes nap in the lab, was trying to adjust my posture and just when I was about to get disengaged from the world, my supervisor came in. So, hello readers, I am still in a state of shock right now, but thank god I managed to show her my 'masterpieces' as a cover up for my hard work and I deserved that nap :')

Back to reading my super old posts of crushes and well, more crushes and eye candies who decides to plunge themselves into my life and then jumps off a cliff somewhere, making me look like a total dork for having feelings. Sometimes I wonder, am I that boy-resistant? Well, if I am, then WHY DO I HAVE HANDFULS OF BOYS AS MY FRIENDS? So hit me baby, one more time! (answer me if you have formspring)

Anyway, pardon me for this long post. (is it that long?) Back then it was all treating my blog as twitter.

Take note!

2010-12-10T22:35:00.000+08:00

I am hiring! Who wants to be part of my Batam Next Top Model? We don't mind models of all ages, size and height ;) If you have what it takes, come and join us!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay, you guys have to wait, still planning.

Dreams dreams dreams.

Revived, yet another boring entry.

2010-12-10T22:31:00.002+08:00

IT'S ALIVE, MY FRIENDS!

WOHOO MONDAY WILL BE HALF-DAY WORK FOR ME BECAUSE OF THE LASER TALK!
HAPPY? OOO I AM CHIPPER BAYBEH! ;)

Tuesday : Have to present to my supervisors.

I will change my layout as soon as I grasp hold of my cyclovo.

2010-12-06T10:56:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't been really nice lately, my social life is at stake now and I suddenly feel
that I am drifting away (FAR, FAR AWAY) from my friends. That happens when you
have too many friends and you want to do catching up sessions, but you possibly can't
keep up even though you know who's the right people.

Cancerians are born emotional. Well, unfortunately I am a cancer and yes, I am quite
emotional and sometimes may be over expressive but I just want to check - has anybody
DIED yet from hanging out with me often?

So many initials and so many things I would LOVE to write about but then again, it's too
confidential. Later, I start with my malay essay-blog here, like last time. HAHAH.

Twitter is not so private for me anymore so thumbs down on that.

I am sorry that I have been spamming and OH JUST TERINGAT that my 2010 resolution was
to not make any new friends and keep the old ones, AND I BROKE IT! LOOK, NOW,
SEE, KARMA SO FAST?! YUCKS LA MY 2011 RESOLUTIONS SHALL BE
DIFFERENT!

2010-12-02T14:50:00.000+08:00

Okay, so here's the thing. Cyclovo decides to go AWOL for the time being, right on the day I am
supposed to present my Final Year Project to the wasted panels. So yes, I cannot live without my
laptop not because of the social networking sites but more to the softwares and the user interface
there is pretty much brilliant. I do regular scanning for my laptop to make sure I don't keep junks in
it that just eats up my system's space.

I am rather handicapped now, because my laptop is my everything for now, a companion I need when
I am awfully bored. Well, my cyclovo works well with my cyclogen and it also works well with my
other accessories. In the end, my laptop contains doodles of mine.

Anyway, I think this is the best time I change my desktop theme and of course my wallpaper. It has
got to wait, a terribly long one, and I am sorry because this is such a wasted entry of my rants and you
guys are bound to get sore eyes. "WHAT WAS SHE THINKING? MOURNING OVER A
LAPTOP? GET OVER IT, BITCH!" , okay I get it, something along that line.

I really feel like beating somebody up :/

I am so lazy for CCAs now, I think I am not going back for hi club anymore?

My driving. OMG. It's been months.

2010-11-30T16:55:00.000+08:00

You're dead.

I'll be back for more rants or maybe just random stories.

:)

Bytheway, now is internship for me!

Basically it's like doing fyp but getting paid.

Metamorphosis.

2010-11-21T17:52:00.000+08:00

Everyday is a transformation, everyday is a new sensation, alteration, modification and incarnation - celebration.
Everyday is a new equation, everyday is a revelation, information, anticipation, onto another destination.

I am not faking it anymore (I've never been, anyway). I hate how it ends like this. I won't forgive whoever's in-charge if I am supposed to go for an interview next week. I AM NOT GOING TO BE A VERY HAPPY PERSON FOR THIS WHOLE WEEK. ANGSTY ILYANA IS BACK TO LIFE, THANKS TO THIS STUPID PROJECT AND THE AMOUNT OF TIME GIVEN WHICH IS PATHETIC, I CAN NO LONGER SUPPRESS IT AND BEING OUT WITH ALL SMILES LIKE AS IF NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME WHICH MAKES PEOPLE THINK I AM ENJOYING IT AND THERE'S NO SENSE OF URGENCY IN ME LIKE I AM A WINNER WHEN IT COMES TO HAVING A HECK-CARE ATTITUDE WHEN FOR FUCK, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE WHOLE STORY.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SO STOP ASKING IF I AM ALRIGHT WHEN I AM CLEARLY NOT, STOP TRYING TO BE THERE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T AND STOP TRYING TO APPEAR ALL HELPFUL WHEN YOU KNOW YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT!

WHAT THE CRAP IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!

Okay, that's all.

Again, :).

DBS HAVENT SEND ME BACK URGH

2010-11-14T11:29:00.000+08:00

Saturday was awesome! I was feeling 110% nervous because it's I and not J that I will help. Yeah, we're
closer to J because we've been to outings and all. Great experience even though some of the girls are
really lifeless. I was expecting crazy girls to be really excited regarding something new they have to learn!
Then again, they're from Girl Guides, so conservative issue here?

Their teacher-in-charge wants to join, learning defenses next year! Most likely 5 weeks course, which means
if my internship is done by then, I can come down and help I again! And oh crap, I didn't know he's an interior designer :O Graduated from La Salle.

I am dealing with a designer and a BB! Coolness~

Outing with Imp7ct later! I can't wait, I wonder what will we be doing! I want to Para! HAHAHA!
Let's camwhore like nobody's business! LOVE YOU GUYS!

P(ai)S(eh) : I'm sorry Andy and Juliana and Siew Kiang ):

CATCH UP SOON LOVE~

2010's coming to an end.

2010-11-10T06:22:00.000+08:00

Start coming up with new resolutions to follow, and not just a centerpiece. I hope my attendance for FYP is not an issue that will pull my grades down. I am trying really hard to keep up. I know I can be a real sloth at times, but when I am hardworking, it's visible for the satellites to detect too! I just need that self-motivation whenever I go.

I have several questions to ask though.

1) Why is slashing back in action when it stopped probably eons ago?

2) Why do innocent lives have to be their victims?

This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arm's race?

Times like this, I am probably banned from late night escapade.

2010-11-10T06:10:00.001+08:00

YOU, MY FRIEND, PLEASE BE GOOD TO ME OKAY. I SPLURGE ON YOU SO PLEASE.

Desperately can't afford to look any manlier. REALLY! Gonna stop making people call me handsome.

All else fails, might resort to plastic.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay, run along.

Truthfully speaking

2010-11-09T02:13:00.000+08:00

I need to go to sleep right now, but people are being active on facebook at this hour and it seems so wrong because I am heavily distracted by the kids! I don't know how to do my work. 3D modelling is hard.

Can I just skip school tomorrow?

I am very tired after training.

2010-11-04T02:31:00.001+08:00

DON'T YOU THINK THIS IS CUTE? HAHAHAHAHAHA SORRY GUYS I CAN'T RESIST NOT DOODLING YOUR LOGO!

Retarded.

2010-11-04T00:33:00.000+08:00

I don't know if you will be reading my blog, my dear N, but I think your r/s with your bf is going swell.
I am so happy for you, and I hope it'll last REALLY long, no matter how huge the height difference is.
Your tweets are ever so happy and it's all so lovey dovey that I am on the verge of puking, but hey, you're all chipper about it so that's all that matters!

& honestly speaking, I'm jealous D:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CRAP.

I can't stop thinking about our lunch conversations. Why do I have to be a part of the retarded society and start/fuel with topics that are like going nowhere? The ones at C4 was funny too. The part we talked about buying beauty products and how the conversation leads to a 'sensitive' topic. Oh, and the part we had Mcs on monday where I dreamt of having a penthouse/glasshouse, complete with my all-glass bathroom walls and floors! That goes to say, my neighbors have the privilege to watch me (us) bathe! Then again, I might be living in the middle of the woods, but that's apart from the planning. My bathroom going to be like a jamming studio, we're going to have shower-head microphones! My floors are all transparent, even the people at LEVEL ONE can enjoy the view! My bedroom ceiling is all glass, so that I can enjoy the clear blue sky and have a good chat with the ghosts who comes creeping on my roof at night!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DAMN.

That's what you get if you're too bored and you have to juggle a lot of things + lack of time.

If you want this kind of conversation to happen between us, make sure you can eat up all the shits I throw at you. Girls, what can I do without you guys listening to me rattling. Thank you :D

I, cannot wait for Peer Design Skills Crash Course Camp next week.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KNN, what a title to even begin with. So fake, just to get loft for our prototype weeks.

Guys, 4 more weeks to mayday. WE CAN DO THIS!

I hate the weekends.

2010-10-24T17:06:00.000+08:00

Weekends are meant for us to rest, but chances of us having recesses for two days is too low. It is like a gap in sketching, between the black outline and the highlighted white. (If you do rendering, you'll know)

I would not want to complain much for what had happened before, so let's not get into details!

I should be happy of what's in store for me. Oh, by the way I decided to snip off my fringe because it gets in the way. My fringe looks so short now I feel like an idiot/clown.

I have this pretty bad habit of cutting my hair when I am stressed. I am sorry for making you the victim, hair. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, you get what I mean?

Now I would like to spend on beauty products. But that will wait until november.

(I know no one reads my blog, but it's okay, I, myself reads them)

2010-10-23T01:26:00.001+08:00

Someone is being really cold to me.

Yay, let's celebrate.

Fuck it.

Another tell-tale.

2010-10-22T00:45:00.000+08:00

Honestly speaking, being in the FYP room and being in class together as a whole seems VERY different. I miss every bitches out there who's at intern and of course, overseas. Sucks to know that things are changing pretty fast even without realizing. One mishap after another, sometimes in the end, we do not know who to turn to anymore.

Some people, being really hardworking gives me the heebies jeebies. I have always been a last minute lady, who in the end, AMAZINGLY gets her job done (yeah fuck, I don't get to sleep for that few days). I feel inferior to the people who have awesome ideas, great sketches, perfect rendering and they awed me so much that I, too WANT to be as good as them.

I do ponder where do I stand as a product designer. I have no talent at designing because I can only come up with ideas, but I cannot print that ideas on paper. It's just TOO hard for me to magically pick up a pen/pencil and start sketching - properly. I can doodle, I can do WONDERFUL doodles for all I care, but that's not what they wanted to see.

This is not deviantart.com we're talking about. What's more, even flickr doesn't come into the picture.

On a lighter note, WELCOME TO SINGAPORE BIG BANG! :D

Moral of story : Stay low profile after the Teenage Day Out.

[I secretly hope we get into finals, but secretly hoping we get like 5th placing or something, as I don't want much media attention because like I've said I'm a muggle but I prefer my introvert side more]

Thank you.

The secret to power sketching is to sketch more, sketch everyday, practice.

I should be able to maintain good relationships.

2010-10-20T11:01:00.000+08:00

In need of a date with my girls pretty soon, pure chillaxing and not think about any work but just ourselves. I believe we all have our own sorrows that we need to clear and share among ourselves.

Anyway, back to work.

I want to keep a low profile. I AM GOING TO MAKE MY OWN STAND. D, YOU ARE GOING DOWN. YOU HEAR ME?

Rants for now.

2010-10-17T18:46:00.001+08:00

Yes I am spending my Sunday reading up on this bullshit that has ought to be banned by electricians or geeks.I don't even feel like a design student anymore because it is taking up my time and I have to know all about it before I can actually start a proper concept. So, the deadline for the panels were being extended but not like it will help us as much.

So many things around the corner. I have to focus on FYP and the Dance Semi for the time being. When it's down to prototype stage, I may have to start my driving lessons back as well as my internship. I am going to pass it before I graduate :) (I hope all the money goes in too) Wish my all the luck my friends! I am going to start acting like a proper 20 year old (though a bit late). I am turning 21 years old next year, which means my maturity level have to raise several notches. Then again, there's a kid in everybody and I am not missing on that.

I am very nervous for everything, though excited at some peaks. I am amazed at how disciplined I am now, compared to previous semesters. I am more of a self-motivator. If I don't do it, then who will?

I realized I spent a lot this October : Presents, Food, Art items, Clothes and... SNSD.

I feel so gay now, attempting to stalk SNSD on the 23rd. I hope it's all worth it or else our $70 goes down
the drain and 'Imma cry like no one's biz cos I could've spent other stuffs with that'.

I came into a conclusion that K-POP and I can never be friends for long. It's too expensive, way expensive to maintain a camera in which I love, the cost and not to mention, the effort wasted in trying to get them to notice us. After all this, it seems like I had just gotten a huge tight slap on my face making me come down back to earth and stop this crazy shenanigans of getting TOO obsessed with the music industry.

Mum was right from the start.

I love you, Momeh & Pops. From now on, I am going to be a good girl and study hard (smart). I can be a genius if I wanted to, if I put in all that effort I had back then in Secondary school. Top student, Class representative.. :) It's okay. I lead a normal life now. I hope. I won't forget God of course. Thank you :)

Note taken :

- Dancing is not my thing. Dancing is more of just for laughs.. for leisure.
- Product Design is not my thing - yet. It's going to take awhile for me to realize what I am really good at.
- Martial Arts is not my thing. Tough on the outside, but I am actually soft in the inside. Keeps me fit.
- Batam next top model is not my thing. I am not model material. It was all for the fun of it.

I am not Cyclomeng.

I am not Maid.

I am not Sooyoung.

I am Nor Ilyana, a bit mentally unsound at times, enjoys great companies, digs photography, reads dictionary like JK Rowling's books, reads maps and scrutinize them, plays boggle and word hunts & keeps everything to herself (: I am a 'muggle'. Half introvert and half extrovert.

Thank you for your kind attention.

Till we meet again.

2010-10-16T01:41:00.002+08:00

I think Imma genius.

That ought to make me chipper for awhile.

:c Happiness will be back. Just wait and see.

2010-10-15T00:10:00.000+08:00

The body is getting weirder each day.

After the food poisoning, I lost about 5 kgs. A few days later, I gained back 3 kgs and then another 2 kgs.

For the past few days, I haven't been eating at home, since I spent 1/3 (prolly 2/3) of my life in school.
I managed to shed 2kgs.

Maybe because all that stress and all that dancing and training.

Then again, I foresee losing more weight because Imma lose my appetite when the REAL THANG going to start - 3D modelling and calculations.

Slowly.

Come on. Get this done and over with man. Technologies please be nice to me okay? I am trying my VERY BEST.

Die, just die please.

2010-10-06T02:43:00.000+08:00

So like I've said I hate doing all this shit and everyone knows I can't go anywhere unless my portfolio turns out to be damn awesome which takes a miracle for it to happen. I am moving forward, trying very hard to ignore the playbacks. But it's okay, I (think) I am prepped for Friday's critique session. FUCK! (pardon me)

We have to be open-minded with the criticisms given on Friday, I can't fight back when it comes to panels so I guess 'tawwakal' is the only thing now. Gonna add the condiments and agree to what they have to say but make my stand as well.

It's just not my term.

Secretly (not so secret anymore) hoping that internship will turn out to be a blast because I cannot take this effort-draining project anymore. I pray for nice colleagues and an awesome boss. Intern is probably another time where I shall keep my life discreet. Isolate myself from others (but my colleagues) unless I have get-together sessions. (MNCs wanted to meet fortnightly so what will happen to my other get-together sessions?)

Need an extreme makeover for real, man.

I can do this. So even AK's motivational speech ain't gonna help me with anything. No one can actually motivate me but myself. I am not driven for this kind of tasks. I bought an awesome stationery - proven to be very useful.

I cannot imagine myself being a freelance designer. I have no direction, man.

I CAN NEVER DO THAT.

It ain't simple man.

2010-09-30T13:17:00.000+08:00

So, it's like this.

FYP is killing everyone here. This room has no feng shui at all! We need some waterfall or potted plants! Some of us lost our mojo for a lot of things, like I lost my creativity and my cuckooness when it comes to doodling or drawing. I am way better at crapping things out back then.

So while everyone is 'happily' (I know some aren't enjoying their holidays) being grounded elsewhere BUT school, I have to think or something really great to make my last few months home stay in school worthwhile. Hence, the photos on facebook depicts everything. We played twister, some mutated digi-vice, rockband, our figurines.. to de-stress.

As funny as it sounds, I can't wait for year 3 to be OVER. I mean, hell yeah I am going to miss school life a lot and the friends I've made here. It's still fresh in my mind on how my FOC and my FOP went. How my year 1 friends and my year 2 friends came along. How I got a few random nicknames and how I know who stayed in my life.

Back then, having a crush was just way too easy because of my weakness. Right now, it seems hard. There's so many things in my mind right now and all of it concerning WORK. Honestly speaking, I can't believe I agreed on helping out for beejays next week. FML.

50% told you to quit but the other half just wants you to stay. Suck balls.

Had grading on monday. It was swell - well, kinda ?

Let's not get into details ya.

Problems after problems arising.

I have SO MANY get together sessions but urghhhhhhhh I miss them all.

2010-09-25T20:58:00.000+08:00

Seriously OMG I am better off dead if I cannot come up with sketches by monday. It's so frustrating that I am braindead! I cannot come up with any fucking idea except making it twirly whirly but fuck it won't work!

Screw things up being a designer!
NOT COOL AT ALL!

Not exuberant.

2010-09-22T15:03:00.000+08:00

The best thing now, is to think about myself and only myself.

I can only focus on FYP and nothing else has to matter. I don't want to think about Raya (never in my mind this year) and I don't want to think about driving. Not until I have adapted to this stupid environment then probably I will continue my daily regime.

I need to start thinking about my target users too.
I don't WANT TO THINK ABOUT HI CLUB, NINJA, DANCE, FRIENDS, DRIVING, GET TOGETHER SESSIONS, WORK ETC.

This is damn sick.

Magnanimity is for wusses

Sometimes. Just sometimes.

My First Anime.

Last minute drive-in to Malaysia.

3 reasons why you should break up with your partner.

I may have issues with my stomach or my bladder.

Lu paham or no understand?

TOOFOO FARKFARK.

You got to do, what you gotta do.

Time for another good story.

Here's the deal-le-oh!

Seriously, what the heck happened to this place?

Life's short, Paddle Hard.

Toilets.

I swear to god my laptop is being a bitch.

KNN I just turned 21, so what's with that noise?

All the fun and laughter are slowly fading.

Let's try to relieve oneself.

I don't understand why, still.

I feel awful.

Like as if life hasn't suck-ed any further.

1st day of training.

Unearthly hour.

On top of that..

World's First Love

Quick update.

Yours till the rain stops,

As you can see.. What keeps me going during the holidays.

Okay, enough with the hating(s).

HEAVE HO!

Holidays.

Hi my homies.

I can't stop blowing my nose.

:)

My CNY days.

Usui, you're back and kimi ni todoke (:

When one is depressed what do they do?

Random updates.

One last outing?

People. You need this :)

Mental note.

Please vote for them! :)

Short notice.

Scary movie.

Expired!

I think I know why I can't sleep soundly last night.

My sunday.

SORRY FOR SPAMMING THIS IS NOTHING SPECIAL!

Quick note.

Product Review - nothing better to do.

Are you egg-cited?

Don't you just LOVE food? :D

2011!

*sad*

One thing I miss about training is the fun even when it's torturous.

Thinking of ways to get myself occupied.

Metamorphosis.

I FEEL LIKE CRUPPP.

My friend decides to ditch me.

Dasar retarded.

Quick update.

I need to blog hop often, whoever with a blog formspring me please.

I don't care who reads this ;)

One tries to open up, the other just refuse.

Take note!

Revived, yet another boring entry.

I will change my layout as soon as I grasp hold of my cyclovo.

Metamorphosis.

DBS HAVENT SEND ME BACK URGH

2010's coming to an end.

Truthfully speaking

Retarded.

I hate the weekends.

Another tell-tale.

I should be able to maintain good relationships.

Rants for now.

:c Happiness will be back. Just wait and see.

Die, just die please.

It ain't simple man.

I have SO MANY get together sessions but urghhhhhhhh I miss them all.

sad